Sleep won’t come. I can’t stop weeping for the world. Hearing the governor warn that schools will not reopen before the summer made the whole thing real in a way it hadn’t been before. I’m embarrassed at my own privilege and yet still deeply concerned for all of us. How do we all do this? How do we raise humans in this upside down world?
I finally dozed off with these and many more worries swirling in my mind. I awoke with the realization that, in order to survive this current global crisis, I was going to have search for every possible silver lining.
This is a hard and scary time to be a parent. I’m pretty sure none of you need me to enumerate all the ways in which now, perhaps more than ever in our modern memory, uncertainty and stress seem to be compounded by being a parent. In spite of it all, I have noticed several ways in which raising kids right now is its own type of blessing. I want to share some thoughts on how I deign to proclaim such a statement, not to erase or ignore the very real struggles we are all facing, but to share some hope, some light, some perspective.
5 Gifts from our Children in this Strange New Era
1. Distraction. Children are an excellent distraction. One thing I have not had the chance to be is bored. I also haven’t been able to check my phone constantly, read every single news article, or spend every moment in the what-ifs. Children are wonderful agents of the NOW. They have immediate needs. They notice, and want to share with you, the present moment. Take advantage of this when you can. If you can muster the bandwidth, take a beat and really BE with them.
2. Purpose. Our little (or not so little) ones give us purpose. They give us a reason to get out of bed in the morning. They need us to feed them, teach them, and reassure them. Being needed is a beautiful gift. It takes us out of our own heads and gives us actionable, tangible things to do, and ways to help. Listen, I know at times like these we can feel helpless, but the truth is we are help-full. Every act of caring for a child is powerful and important and you are doing it against all odds. I know that I am so much stronger when I have someone to be strong for. Please try to find power in your purpose.
3. Touch. With so many people truly isolated right now, parents are still giving and receiving copious amounts of physical love. Physical touch in parenthood can sometimes feel like a burden, but right now, it’s a true luxury. Soak up the snuggles. Soften into the bodies you’ve nurtured with your own. Give them all the hugs you wish you could give your grandma, your best friend, and your neighbor.
4. Lightness. Life with children is nothing if not funny and adorable. Even if the event is only humorous in the retelling, kids are fodder for laughs. And might I suggest you take a moment to really drink in the darling? There are plenty of difficult moments, but kids really DO say and do the darndest things. It won’t be constant sparkle magic, but all this togetherness means many more opportunities for pee-your-pants laughter and heart-exploding cuteness.
5. Hope. The gift, above all, that parenting currently offers is hope. I simply don’t dare to go without it. I have to believe that there is a chance for them to have a future that is full of simple joys. And in some ways this slowing down just might give us an opportunity to come together as a world and heal as a planet. When I ask my children about the future - whether it’s plans for tomorrow or dreams for a far-away grown-up life - they are filled with optimism, excitement, and even solutions. They are creative and loving creatures. They aren’t afraid to build a bold new world. And while I can’t promise them a life without suffering, I can offer them hope for a life blessed by love.
I don’t assume to know what you’re going through, but my hope is that at least one of these items resonated with you, that this list offered you a moment of gratitude. Parenting is trying in the best of times, here’s to continuing to try today.
