Friends, these are troubling and stressful times for all. Some, more than others. I recognize that I am in an immense place of privilege, having a job that I can do from home and the experience of working while parenting one to three children at any given time. As so many parents attempt to brave this strange new world of social distancing, I want to offer all the help I can. I will be sharing many resources and ideas in the coming weeks on Instagram but I thought a more detailed post here might be a good idea.
First, I'd like to say that my community has been through similar circumstances with several very tough fire years. (Click here for my past round up of Emergency Homeschooling Resources). What I witnessed in those trying times was wonderful empathy, love, and patience. We all need to do our best to heed warnings, stay in loving isolation, and look out for our community. Panic and hoarding are not helpful - love and humor are.
I am not a homeschooler nor educational expert, but I have survived many a school break (both planned and emergency) while working, with several children underfoot, and I want to share what has worked for me in the hopes that it might help you. So here goes, a very loose and customizable list of suggestions and encouragements for the trying times we all face. I can't promise it will be easy - but you are not alone, we are in this together and we can do hard things!!
Create a rhythm (not a strict routine) that works for YOU! I'm not talking about the color-coded-models-of-stress making the rounds on the internet (unless that a helps you feel sane, in which case, please schedule every minute)! Think about your day without kids home. What do you need to accomplish (at minimum - such as chores, exercise, work) and what do you need in order to accomplish it (likely relative peace)? Try to build a daily rhythm around those needs. For me this means that I am available to help with breakfast and activities in the early morning, then I need to do chores and move my body (with "help" or without) and while the baby naps (11am-1pm) I need quiet to get my work done. The deal is, if the kids give me that time by reading or playing quietly, they get my attention from lunch until dad returns home (when I can finish up work, hopefully before dinner). Afternoons are when we try to craft, read aloud, get outside, etc.
Cut yourself slack, seriously. You don't have to cherish this special time with your children. You don't have to prove that you can do it all. It's okay to be scared and anxious and bored and frustrated - I promise you are in good company. Do the bare minimum and know that it is enough. Give your children the gift of boredom. Hole yourself up in the bathroom with your phone and chocolate and coffee and/or wine. Call a lifeline. Be honest with a friend and share a few hilarious GIFs, you've got this. You are doing an AMAZING job.
Add fresh air/water. If you can safely head outside, please do! Breathe in the fresh air. Look for magic in nature. Do your best to be present. If outside is a no-go, fill the tub and plop in the kids. No matter what - breathe and laugh as often as possible.
Learning can happen in simple ways. Reading, drawing, cooking, chatting, playing, gardening - these are all opportunities to teach and learn. It really doesn't have to be complicated or stressful. Follow your children's interests when possible and include them in your daily doings when possible. Throw in a few art supplies and some researched curiosity and you've successfully "emergency homeschooled". Focus more on connection than content.
Clean up or let it all go, know thyself. I have found that I can handle some chaos - a giant art project or cardboard fort, but a disaster of a house makes me crazy. At least once a day I try to get things in relative order. I fall in the middle of the spectrum. If nagging your kids and/or trying to keep tidy makes you crazy there's no time like a pandemic to let pandemonium reign - you can clean later, or not. And if mess makes your skin crawl, build lots of clean up time into your rhythm and maybe count the items you clean and call it math? Just do what makes you feel most comfortable at home, your comfort level will set the tone.
Remain flexible. Don't add more strict expectations on yourself or your kids. Are they playing nicely but it's "reading time"? Sneak out of the room like a ninja and enjoy the fleeting peace, reading time can wait. Are they bickering incesently? Try ignoring it, I mean it, pop in some headphones and enjoy a podcast or audiobook. Restless energy much? Skip read aloud or craft time and strike up a dance party or nature scavenger hunt. Life with kids almost always works better when we don't cling to expectations. Parenting is the constant art of learning to let go. It won't be perfect or orderly and that's okay.
WE WILL SURVIVE!
Huge virtual germ-free hugs to all my fellow parents out there raising kids in these wild times. You are not alone. You are doing an amazing job. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay kind.
