Or the one where I complain, even though I have no right to.
First I'd like to thank everyone for the well wishes, your kindness and enthusiasm warms my heart.
Here's the thing. I love being a mom, but I hate being pregnant. I feel guilty admitting it, but it's the truth. I know with all my heart how truly lucky I am to be blessed with a no fertility struggles and what, so far, appears to be another healthy baby. I am simply having trouble finding solace in my gratitude while praying to the porcelain god.
I was so sick with Jude it took me over three years to work up the nerve to try for another. I convinced myself that every pregnancy is different and that I wouldn't be so sick this time. Ha! Not only am I suffering from morning sickness all day nausea, I've got Jude to look after and work to attend.
I feel so very guilty not just for moaning when I should be celebrating but for leaving my husband (who has been amazing) to do just about everything. I can't enter the kitchen without gagging and most of my "parenting" takes place on the bed or from the couch. I've been like this for two full months. I've tried everything.
I am writing this not as a plea for pity, but simply as a small dose of reality. I am hoping that my honesty will help other women in the same situation feel less alone.
I constantly remind myself that I will not feel this way forever.
Thank goodness babies are such sweet rewards.
Jude at one day old, photo by Meg Messina Photography.
