Here is a beautiful bouquet Jude helped me pick from our garden. Barf, did I just write that? Do I really sound like that? The above statement is three things: true, irritating, and in its own way ... misleading. It is misleading because it makes it seem like my life is all fresh flowers and rainbows, and because it makes me sound totally obnoxious. I promise you that I am not, contrary to how it may appear here, sickeningly sweet. I recently read this, and it got me thinking. Have you ever read a blog and been so overwhelmed by positivity that you questioned the sincerity? It's a very slippery slope. And at times, I fear I come off as the type of person I would most likely make fun of.
The thing is, I started this blog as a very new mom, and I have been struggling to find my voice ever since; both here and in my "real" life (of course, everything feels amplified on the interweb.) My sense of humor is dangerously dry (which is very difficult to express without hearing my tone of voice; making it too easy to offend people). Plus, as a mom I've found my funny self has lost its edge: I'm less cynical, negative, judgemental, maybe even less self-deprecating (don't want the little one to develop low self-esteem). And...I can't swear. What I'm trying to say is that if you've ever read my blog and thought to yourself: "nice happy-shiny-fake-life, b****", we would probably make great friends. And if you ever thought: "she has a perfect life, and I must be missing something", I am so so so sorry, because I have experienced that very thing, and it totally sucks, and it's totally wrong.
This blog is often a baby book, where positivity reigns supreme. Plus, a place to share projects I think others might find useful. And perhaps most importantly, a way for me to connect with other crafty mamas. I want to be a part of the blog community, heck I even want to be popular. But I realize that if I'm true to myself, I will sometimes offend, and at other times, irritate. I'm still figuring out who I am, and yet I really don't have time to "find myself", I barely have time to shower. In fact, I stand here scrawling notes for this post on the back of my weight goal chart with dripping hair and a pen that only sort of works.
On this little (dare I say "small") blog, I try to stay positive (dare I say "friendly"), but I really don't ever want to be sickening or show-offy. Yes, I have a super cute kid that I love so much it hurts (but who also tries every bit of patience I have, not to mention my constant worry), and yes, I have a super supportive husband that is truly my soul mate (but who also sometimes drives me totally nuts, not to mention when I'm PMSed). So there you have it. My little rant. This is much cheaper than therapy and if you made it this far, you are clearly my friend. Thank you. Thank you for helping me find my voice, please feel free to comment on how I am annoying, that's what friends are for.
And just in case anyone thought I even kinda had it all dialed, I give you a photo of my "studio", also known as the garage; which is, moreover, the only way to get to my backyard (you know, the one with the flowers), so don't try to ignore it.
Here's to keeping it real.
